Archives by date

You are browsing the site archives by date.

This First Dates trout thinks someone else should pay for her dinner…

Tight bitch

We don’t even pretend to know what goes on with straight people on dates (and in most cases don’t want to have to think about it) but one thing we do know from our religious watching of the TellyVee is that women seem not to expect to pay for their own food. Even if they have no intention of putting out. Like ever!

Take this one here with all the make-up that… not MAC but BHS SkinCare For You can make and someone else’s hair. When the bill came at the end of the meal – £70 – and her date, who looked like her son in an Alan Bennett wind-cheater, said, ‘So, that’ll be £35 each…’ and proceeded to get his wallet out, she right went into one.

Those lips pursed up (and you can tell they’ve done a lot of pursing in their time), the huff descended and she told us all in voiceover that she had never NEVER been expected to pay for a dinner. And she still wondered why several people had divorced her.

In the after-bit, where they get asked if they would like to see each other again, Mr. Date was all, ‘Well, I wouldn’t mind. I think we had a nice evening…’ while she was immediately, ‘I thought it was terrible that you expected me to pay for my food…’ At which he slapped her and told her to fuck right off. Or would have done had he been us.

But, nasty nan aside, we have noticed in First Dates that the ladies always do a little feeble protesting and then allow themselves to be paid for even if they are about to go into the after-bit room and read him the riot act about how she would never lower herself to be seen in public with him again. And some of these ladies reckon they go on multiple dates a week!

So, in conclusion (and said in a voice not unlike Carrie in Sex and the City), we pondering homosexuals are wondering, are dates just a way straight women have of getting to eat for free? And why is this considered OK in *checks calendar* the 21st century?

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

Is that a penis inside of your boxer briefs, Calvin Harris, or are you just trying to get your face in the papers while rubbing your penis/tits in Taylor Swift’s face while she’s busy fingering the contracts for her next tip-top showbiz boyfriend and Tom Hiddleston’s busy searching for his credibility?

Calvin Harris's VPL, dear.

Hmmmm?

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

And in today’s breaking underwear news…



And that concludes today’s breaking underwear news…

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

Some things we learned about gays from the most recent edish of Naked Attraction…

Smells like gay spirit
  1. Gays can sniff each other out: apparently the pheromones that are released from the gay man’s armpit area are different from those released from the straight man’s armpit area and gays can tell the difference…!
  2. It’s not particularly gay but kissing stimulates the same area of the brain as heroin. And is so much cheaper!
  3. Gays have penises which are on average a third larger than the average straight-boy penis. So there!

PS Did anyone else find her constant groping of the very attractive gay man doing the choose inappropriate? Would it be OK for a man to stand there pinching a lesbian’s nipples? We think not, milord.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

A weekend sporting boxset

Eenie, meenie, minee, mo! tumblr_occpdhDTlG1qelnfpo1_500

Take your pick. We’ll have France, third from left…

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

And in today’s sports news…

Sweaty betty!

Wrestling.

And that concludes today’s sports news.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

A lesson in paparazzi management from the House of Kardashian

So demure!

Rule 1: Place what you want them to photograph near what they’re photographing anyway. Just as when you need to teach your cheating husband a lesson by going out without your wedding ring, you place your left hand at face-level at all times, whether you’re removing a strand of weave demurely from your mouth or maybe daintily chasing a crumb across the sticky swamp of lip-gloss into your mouth.

In this case, one of the Kardashians whom we chose not to learn the name of has placed a floral teddy bear next to her baps. Kate McCann could have learned a thing or two with that pink bunny.

Oh and can we just say ‘mouth’ and ‘eyebrows’?

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

Selfie du jour

Lovely Lindas
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)