First, obvs, Greg ‘ginger long jumper’ Rutherford. We have spoken. And we so would. He wouldn’t even need to wear Lycra, though that would be a nice touch.
2. Ore Oduba, him off of sports on the BBC. He seems big and bossy, which is a quality we admire in a gentlemans.
3. Will Young. A bit bottom-y but he’ll do.
4. DJ Danny Mac, who we have frankly never heard spoken of but he seems nice as long as he doesn’t play his records too loud.
And that’s pretty much it unless you count Ed Balls.
And those we’d like to see kicked in the head at their earliest possible convenience: Louise Nurdling off-of Eternal (don’t get us started on that one!) and Lesley Joseph off-of Birds of a Fevva, who is bound to be teamed with someone young and hot so she can wheel out all those tired Dorian ‘dirty old lady’ jokes *yawns. With hand over mouth. We’re not animals!*