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Who wants to hear a brand-new disco record from Cerrone? It’s no ‘Supernature’ but the video does have drag queens and everything…

And yes, that is the fingerprints of Nile Rodgers that it has all over it.

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So here’s a designer-imposter version of George Michael’s Freedom video, courtesy of Vogue.

And here’s the original, which shits so hard over this one that it’s ripped itself a new arsehole.

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And in today’s sports news…

Tighty blackies

Canoeing.

And that concludes today’s sports news…

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Selfie du jour

Saucy!
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Oh, look! Kate Bush has a live album coming out…!

J'adore

If you were not one of the lucky ones who got to see Kate Bush a couple of years ago when she did her spectacular spectacle down at the old Eventim Apollo (we went twice, once in row two, but we would hate to brag about that, even for a moment), then you will at least be able to hear what went on as an album of it is *checks notes* coming out. (Rumour has it, by the way, that they attempted to film the event not once, not twice but thrice times but technical glitches meant all thrice were shit. But that’s the grapevine for you).

Anyway, it seems funny to leave it two years but Ms. Bush dances to her own tune and has decided that 25th November 2016 was the optimum moment to release her 3-CD jobbie. The track-listing, for those on the autistic scale, has been lovingly cut and pasted from the press release over the jump. So jump… (more…)

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The only blokes on this year’s The Apprentice worth schtuppin’…

The Apprentice 2016

Hello.

Quite what the producers of London’s glittering The Apprentice were thinking when they cast this lot of jobsworthy lumps, but we think it’s borderline homophobic that they didn’t give our penises a second thought, let alone our back bottoms a first. But when push comes to bumming, Momma’s gotta get a little schtuppin’ so here’s our list of men most likely to get fingered by our Fab Lolly. In descending order. Feel free to mix ’em up… we ain’t here to police anyone’s desire. Unless it’s a bit shit.

Paul Sullivan, The Apprentice

Paul Sullivan is 38 and comes from Chigwell. He owns a marketing agency – who doesn’t’? – and has a sturdy gait/girth.

 

Courtney Wood, The Apprentice

Courtney Wood, 29, is also from Essex. He runs a novelty gift company, which is the sort of thing you do when you can’t think of anything else to do. Or you want your daughter to marry the future king. His tie also has a square bottom, which at least gives Good Morning Britain eleven minutes of content tomorrow.

 

Samuel Boating The Apprentice

Samuel Boateng is 27 and a little too handy with his clippers. He’s a sales manager at ‘Major Car Brand’, which is very modern of him, and comes from London’s glittering London. Those glasses also need to go. We are not a car salesma……. Oh.

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And in today’s sports news…


Foot *checks notes* ball.

And that concludes today’s sports news…

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We thought we’d best put up this new Will & Grace scene, because nobody else has.

Those opening notes on the ol’ Joanna – there’s a technical term for that, right? – is music to our back bottoms.

Ooh, and this one’s political and topical. It’s so clever they should give these people work.

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