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Fancy Elaine Paige on Sunday like, all the time? Only with Duncan off-of Blue instead?

Fancy Elaine Paige on Sunday like, all the time? Only with Duncan off-of Blue instead?

Disclaimer: We have chosen to illustrate this slightly-breaking story with a picture that includes Lee off-of Blue, because we always found him the hottest. It’s the visceral scally, see. 

Who doesn’t love Potato Actress Elaine Paige’s tip-top wireless show on Her Majesty’s BBC that takes place almost every single Sunday? It’s a rollercoaster of classic songs from London’s glittering West End, Broadway and Hollywood, alongside some shite that would make Michael Buble wince, finished off with mad people putting on accents and rambling about designer-imposter productions of Pippin in sheds in Norfolk. It holds us hostage till 3pm, it does.

If you’re fizzing your panties at just the thought of the above, then you’ll be popping your front bottom at news that Encore, a station dedicated to musical theatre, has launched *checks notes* today! Hooray! Hurrah if you’re that way inclined!

Running seven days a week for 24 hours a day – 24/7 in old money – Dolly Duncan James has the mid-morning Sunday slot, from 10am, which must be a relief for Elaine.

‘I can’t wait to get to share three hours every Sunday morning on Encore Radio from 10am with other musical theatre fans across the country,’ says DD. ‘I’ll be playing my favourite tracks – Miss Saigon has to be my all-time favourite show, it was probably the first musical I saw live – and I’ll have lots of my showbiz friends dropping it to chat. It’s going to be great fun!’

He had us at ‘showbiz’.

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At last science brings us something useful! Something that will enhance our everyday lives and stop Judge Judies judging us…

And so tasty too!
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You have one bullet…

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Sandy Lane, babes?

Alan Shearer naked

This is Alan Shearer off-of football, consistently shaggable since the ’80s. He is at London’s glittering Sandy Lane, which just proves the adage that footballers and those adjacent to footballers have fuck all taste. And aren’t they anti-bumming at Sandy Lane? Or are we just projecting?

And here he is again, this time standing. Isn’t this fun?

alan-shearer-topless
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And in today’s sports news…



This one. 

And that concludes today’s sports news…

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Outline in briefs


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‘McScuze me, bitch!’

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Fat tits are so inspirational!


One is the First Lady who has done so much for girls’ rights, one has served her country for 60 years, one has given so much to charity that she’s donated herself clean off the Forbes list of the world’s richest people, one was shot in the head as a child and survived to fight for girls’ education. 

And one sits on a sofa on mid-morning telly wearing blouses that show off outsize knockers giggling with someone who’s on Holby City tonight at 8 and when we come back after the break we’ll be discussing euthanasia from 11.13 to 11.15 followed by an in-depth look at this season’s corky wedges.

We are so inspired we may get highlights later. 

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