We have a lot of time for Dave Salmoni. We once interviewed him completely oblivious to who he was. The day in question was a particularly busy day, m’lud, and research was simply out of the question. Out of it, we tell you. Out.

It.

Of.

So we had little choice but to resort to the tried ‘n’ tested, ‘Tell us about your new project’ line, put our feet up, undid the top six buttons of his shirt, and let Dave do the rest. ‘If this fails,’ thought we, ‘we’ll just ask if he’s related to salmon.’

The rest, as they say, was pounds, shillings and pence.

And Dave, knowing his demographic, has decided to get his baps out. In Flaunt magazine. This is a magazine we knew little of until we did some research and now we quite like it. And that’s quite enough work for one day.

In the eeny-meeny-miny-time, there now follows pictures of Dave Salmoni as featured in said Flaunt magazine featuring said baps in a nudey, dirty, sexy, filthy, bumming, ding-dong-schlong-a-long, bend us over backwards on a hostess trolley, two soups?, half a pound of Jelly Babies, pig! kind of way. Wethankyou. Continues…