First of all, like covering up her nipples changes anything. They’re nipples, not Iran.

Secondly, you may alreadly know how much time we have for Janice ‘I’m the world’s first mother-fucking supermodel’ Dickinson, perhaps because we have mentioned it before. Perhaps even before then.

Fourthly, she’s gone all vadgie in this shoot for Closer magazine. We were once on the No. 55 bus (hello! We get off at Shoreditch!) and the woman (grown) next to us was reading Closer magazine with her finger. Behold their demographic.

And our title? Well, regular viewers will recognise those lyrics as the ones sung by Janice as she greeted us at a shoot the morning after she’d emptied a very swish bar indeed with her tales of gay man masturbating over her in the bath, the words, ‘Oh, get a life - it’s only cock!’ echoing in the affronteds’ ears as they left the room. And people ask us why we love her so…