Howsabout, May Gay Day Bank Holiday Weekend? Or, Day May Gay Bank Holiday Weekend? Or, Day Gay May Wank Holiday Beekend?

Before we start, can we just say, we saw Kier Simmons off-of hot ITN news correspondent (lovely of eyes, chunky of thighs) on the bus, and he left his empty coffee cup on said bus.

*tuts, audibly. And so people can hear*

So this weekend is a three day weekend for most people. And if you’re unemployed, you’ve finally got someone to play out with.

And this is our guide to what’s on this weekend. Or rather, what’s on on Sunday night, because doing the whole weekend is tooooo harrrrrrrrrrrrrd. Or rather, just one thing which is on on Sunday night because, because because because, because of the wonderful things he-she does.

So it’s Circus, Jodie Harsh’s rather special thing, and this Day Gay May Wank Holiday Beekend is continuing its new monthly residency at Paramount. You know, that fancy-pants club atop Centrepoint. DJs alongside Jodie will be The XX, Tom Stephan, plus a super-spesh guest who will be announced on Twitter on Saturday.

If you can’t read the bit at the bottom of the flyer to the north of here, go here. Needless to say, it’s on from 10.30pm to 5am, tickets are £12 pre-booked (£15 on the door), and we think half a pint of shandy booze might be involved.