We would buy a pair of these – two, even – but the last time we had a very expensive pair of sunglasses, a fookin’ monkey lept onto our jeep as we were swishing through the South African… what are we calling this, jungle? You know, where the fookin’ monkeys live… and snatched them from our face. Fookin’ monkeys.
These Tom Ford sunglasses, which will in fact set you back $2,950 a pop – a poppety pop! – contain gold-plated metal and water buffalo horn. Like that ever worked as a threat.
‘This’ is the Lanvin Fall 2011 campaign. We prefer to call it autumn. It features a raft as well as a lot of models, including but not only Karen Elson off the ginge and the pale, and it is filmed, etc. by Steven Meisel.
It is officially our new favourite video whose sole purpose is to sell things that also includes song and dance, since the ‘You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties’ advert from Ikea.
That carpet’s even doing it for us.
*raises hands* (more…)
They are by Claire-Anne O’Brien and we bet if you sat on them you wouldn’t be able to resist worming your finger in the holes. But then, when have you ever…?
Those clever Aussies, when they’re not winning medals at the Commonwealth Games (how good are they at sports!) they are thinking up new ways for homosexualists to show off their junk in skimpy… let’s just call it underwear and leave it there, shall we. No need for unpleasantness.
But we think that with Croota, they may have gone a panty-girdle too far. Honestly, people! High-cut panties for the gents! What were you thi… Hold on. Actually, you might have a point. As you were.
Jump the jump if you want to see it/them in all its/their glory/glories… (more…)
Hello.
Lidl, a supermarket which has emerged as a place where you can now shop without putting a plastic bag over your head (with holes in it! We’re not silly to ourselves!) because the stuff may be cheap, but it ain’t shit. Plus, any excuse not to shop at Tesco’s. Sainsberries is a whole other kettle of Kettle Chips and if only they’d open a Waitrose that wasn’t on the Holloway Road. We don’t want to be dodging bullets whilst bobbing for avocados.
So that sentence didn’t quite finish, did it? We got carried away with a riveting stream of consciousness. We’re like that James Joyce, only much more fun and with back bottoms you can bounce bollocks off. And if we were to finish that sentence, it would go something along the lines of:
Lidl, a supermarket blah blah and blah has today launched a fake tan for one whole pound. None of your 99p business, a pound. It is called Glow ‘n’ Go Instant Tan, it comes in matte or shimmer (shimmer! Shimmer! Shimmer!) and it is available until stocks last. Which, once this article does the rounds, will be about as long as a piece of shoelace.
Rumour has it, it’s pretty good.
We tried to find a picture of Glow ‘n’ Go Instant Tan, tried for about eleven seconds, then decided it’s probably in a brown plastic bottle so instead decided to illustrate by way of a picture of four famouses. Can you guess which one’s using fake tan?
We do, however, think it’s nice that Valentino took the time out to match his skin to Tom Ford’s sunglasses, which he is wearing indoors. Radical.
So, Sir Dame Me Me Me (OBE) went AWOL for a while. Don’t ask us, we’re just the pretty ones.
Anyway, to make it up to you, here is the latest Calvin Klein pants advert starring Kellan Lutz. Which is funny, because we always had an inkling he had a penis.
The pants are horrible (aren’t they!), but the penis looks hefty. For which we drop trou’ and take a bow. And then take an even closer look… (more…)
On a scale of one to bumming, new smells excite us this much.
And the new Chanel smell – Bleu de Chanel – is its first men’s fragrance for the mens since 1837 (workie’s being used as a medicine ball and apparently can’t do two things at once) and it is based on one of its scents from the 1930s. Lazy, much?
What we love about it most so far is the bottle. If you’re from Manchester, you might pronounce that ‘bockle’.
What we find most interesting is the transformation of the face of Bleu de Chanel, Gaspard Ulliel. Try pronouncing that with your mouth full. Or even gargling.
Here he is *points north* in the ads for Bleu de Chanel, as photographed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino. All hair and no knickers.
And here is he *points at ‘continues’ button* as not photographed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino, all hair off-of a northern soap. All of it. (more…)
Answer that if you like.
This is the new campaign for Pepe Jeans London (full name). Starring Alexa Chung, whose name is impossible to say without adding, ‘Don’t get what all the fuss is about’. Go on, try it.
Try it.
TRY IT!
We were at a do recently and Alexa Chung was there. We thought she was one of the hired help. We even asked her if there were any more fairy cakes (we absolutely, utterly refuse to say the words ‘cup cake’). She looked at us, how shall we say, with disdain. She’s just some bird off the telly with a centre parting and ill-fitting clothes, right?
But what’s, like, really funny is this was the second time we confused her for hired help. The first time she was wearing what can only be described as an apron. It’s not our fault we thought she worked for Kiehl’s. And they’re normally so liberal with the samples.
You may have noted two words in the preceding two paragraphs were italicized. We know.
Also starring in this advert is Jon Kortajarena, Cortina for short (didn’t you just love a Cortina! Unassuming, they were…) off-of hair, plus some other bloke.
No idea what it all means but it’s forcing us to believe it.
