Stupid Stuff

Babes, just warming up for a day at the Men’s Pond*…

*It’s a pond, for men. Well, more a freshwater swimming lake fed by the headwater springs of the River Fleet located on Hampstead Heath in North London and frequented predominantly by gay men. Some of whom may have partaken of champagne and a Sherbet Dip Dab.

 

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Let’s watch Tina Turner and Cher have a leg-off! Yes, even in this heat!

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And our nomination for our favourite Oscar nomination goes to…

You beauty!

Marion Cotillard for Two Days, One Night in the category of Best Actress (see, we’re not as stupid as you think).

In other less favourable Oscar news, Bradley Cooper is nommed for American Sniper for crying out loud; that fucking Budapest Hotel bollocks has swept the board getting more noms even than the genius Boyhood and Meryl Streep is up for the witch in Into the Woods against Keira Knightley in The Imitation Game, which bagged a bunch and which is OK but really…

And that concludes today’s in-depth Oscars news and anal-ysis. Apart from this cut’n’paste job from someone else’s website because we’re busy and if they have work experiences that we don’t have then we’re going to steal their work. Over the jump… (more…)

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Let’s now laugh at this stupid cunt

Seriously?

This is *checks notes* some silly dolly. He wants to look like Kim Kardashian. Which is a mental illness right there.

We think he has achieved his goal. Which is a mental illness right there.

And he has spent $150,000 (the Daily Cunt can’t even be bothered to use a currency changer now… so why should we?) in the process. Money that could have been so better spent getting those tattoos removed. Which is a mental illness right there.

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Myleene Klass. As if we didn’t already think she was a big, stupid cunt!

Get a fucking haircut!

Poor old, rich old has-been pop star Myleene Klass (is Myleene a name? It sounds like a window-cleaning agent). Last night she had a go at Ed Miliband over the proposed Mansion Tax, a Labour policy to get a bit of money out of the super-rich. Because she – with her £17m fortune – doesn’t want to pay it. Why should she? Because she has worked hard for that money. She wore crop tops and everything.

And besides, (this is what she told Miliband in what The Daily Cunt is calling ‘a dressing down’), all you can get for £2million in London (£2m is the value of the house you have to have before you are asked to pay what amounts to about £2,000 a year) is a garage. You must be using some pretty fancy garages, madam. In God’s own Muswell Hill, a most desirable neighbourhood near where she rents a luxury home, £2m will get you a six-bedroom, two-bathroom house. Is that where Myleene parks a car?

Go back to selling… whatever it is you sell and keep out of politics you stupid, greedy-for-money woman.

 

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‘Stuff you can’t joke about? Truly nothing!’ Let’s say goodbye to Joan Rivers with this old interview we did… gays, dogs, Chelsea Clinton and Julie Goodyear

 

This was done a while ago and has been chopped up a bit, but she still comes through. Picture it: us and Joan in her suite at the Ritz. She’s in a little Chanel-style suit and lots of ‘gold’ jewellery… Hit it!

How much do you love being rude to people at those red carpet things?

The Grammys are so much fun because that’s where you’re going to see stuff! The Oscars are very ladylike but the Grammys… It’s so much fun because they really look insane.

Does anyone ever come back to you like, ‘Listen bitch’…?

No. The ones that don’t want to talk to you just walk past you.

Who won’t talk to you?

Annette Benning- very grand! But very few.

Are they scared of you?

The smart ones aren’t and they’re usually the big stars. The stupid ones are not the big stars. Julia Roberts knows you’re going to have fun, Nicole Kidman knows you’re going to have fun, Sharon Stone knows you’re going to have fun – with all the big ones there’s no questions about it. And then after the show you’ll go, ‘Oh, that’s right, Annette Benning didn’t stop.’ She’s so dreary anyhow, who cares?

Your karma must be terrible.

Why? Truthful is not rude. I don’t think anybody’s ever been hurt by anything I said, truly, truly. Tell me something I’ve said that hurt somebody? When I was doing all the great Elizabeth Taylor jokes I called her up and said… (more…)

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Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini. We give it a year. Heck, we give it even less.

Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini. We give it a year. Heck, we give it even less.

Cheryl Cole née Fame Whore has married some Frenchie after just three months of dating. Him, we assume.

She announced the news, of which we will be the judge, via some kind of social media while apparently taking a dump, with the attached message:

‘I usually do not discuss my personal life but to stop the speculation I want to share my happy news… Jean-Bernard and I married on 7/7/14. We are very happy and excited to move forward with our lives together.’

Which roughly translates to:

‘I usually do not discuss my personal life but my shitty song Crazy Stupid Love is out in six days so I want to share my happy news… Jean-Bernard and I married on 7/7/14. We are very happy and excited to move forward with our lives together.’

Famouses are so darn clever.

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The best bit about Cheryl Cole’s new song is when she stops singing.

Cheryl Cole – still here, apparently – has dropped, as one would a turd, her new single. It is called Crazy Stupid Love, it features Tinie Tempah because no one has the courage of their convictions anymore, and it played for the first time on that grotty Nick Grimshaw’s show on Radio 1 this morning. While we’re still trying to work out the appeal of Nick Grimshaw, let’s listen to it. Or not, etc.

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