‘Big time what the fuck? It’s waaaaay past 4 o’ clock of a Friday eve and we still haven’t had a tenuously linked sing-song’

Not so quietSo, car crash oinker in human form Kerry Katona might have her Iceland contract cancelled owing to the not-at-all-staged drunken performance on This Morning this very week.

And to celebrate this non-story we have decided to – in a Friday-esque tenuous link type fashion – have a sing-song by Björk, originally from Mum’s-gone-to-Iceland. Tis Violently Happy. Like us. Right now. Champers in hand. Enjoy past le jump…

Steve Jones’s arse.

Get that fucking Miquita out the fuckin' waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Jolly good.

Suri gorges on cupcakes before going on a 48-hour bender with Brooklyn and some of the Jolie-Pitt (or should that be Pitt-Jolie?) clan…

The binge before the purgeFirstly, hooray for Suri Cruise’s newly chopped fringe. Where would these plebs celebs be without Me-Me-Me giving them some friendly advice on how to look after their offspring every now and again?

Secondforth, why or why do the ‘loids insist upon talking about Hollywood kids like they’re 30 year-olds? Suri is sporting a ‘hot new bob’, and is apparently already a ‘fashion icon’ or ‘one to watch’. Yes, because no other little girl we have ever seen or heard ever in the world ever has ever worn a little polka dot dress. Ever.

Next up… Rocco and Maddox in Stickle Brick showdown.

Gratuitous pussy clip #15274629222254

CDs on the wall? Toiley roll on the side? Where are these poor wee pussys?It is f-f-f-Friday and it’s that time of the day, month, year (note to our Americaland friends, it goes in sequential order. As in, it is a sequence. Day, month, year. Not month, day, year. You know what we’re talking about so don’t act the innocent *nods head in patronising fashion*)…

Anyway, back on planet Mwah-Mwah we were about to give you some fluffy weekend fun of the clean variety in the form of a sleepy kitten who’s doing the night bus head jerk thing because he doesn’t want to miss his stop. So, here is some fluffy weekend fun of the clean variety in the form of a sleepy kitten who’s doing the night bus head jerk thing because he doesn’t want to miss his stop. Over the jump with you…

[Read more...]

Oh, look, Mariah’s back driving a car, rolling around with a cute guy in bed, daintily brushing unruly curls out of her mouth…

You go, girlfriend *clicks fingers, moves head swiftly from one side to the other*

You can’t keep a good megastar down. And even though her last single had to be pulled (or something) due to widespread lack of interest (even though it was good!), here’s Mariah doing what Old Ma Riah does best: rolling around with men young enough to be her children and acting like a little girl. But in a good way.

It’s a screen cap (that’s not a hat you put on your telly, it’s like a freeze frame moment) from her new video to ‘I Stay In Love’, which might sound familiar to you. Not because you’ve heard it before, it’s just very Mariah. As in ‘very Kylie’ only involving someone who can actually sing.

See a 30-second preview (how excitement!) after the jump…  [Read more...]

Tra-la-laaaa. It’s Take That’s new album cover. Tra-la-laaaa.

Steady as she goes...

The album’s called The Circus. The Take That ladies (Take Them?) are seen walking on tight ropes.

Do you?

Riddle us this: Can a Kylie song ever be ‘too Kylie’? Oooooooooooooooooh, intrigue…

Bum chums.

Hello.

So, you’ll never guess. Boy George wrote a song for Kylie but Kylie’s people rejected it for being, and we quoteth, ‘too Kylie’.

*eyes dart around room*

Here’s the quote. It’s a juicy quote, peoples, because it also contains the information that Boy George is now writing for Kanye West instead. *Shakes uncontrollably*.

‘I wrote a song for Kylie but her representative said it was too Kylie. I don’t know what he meant by that. I’m actually doing something for Kanye West soon. My friend Amanda Ghost is a big songwriter at the moment. She met with Kanye a couple of weeks ago and he loved ‘Karma Chameleon’ and he’s looking for real songs. Whether or not he does it is another story! He might say it’s too Kanye West!”

See, told you.

Now let’s play that game where we decide what being ‘too Kylie’ actually means, with the help of a list: [Read more...]

Angelina Jolie: ‘I may stop making movies and marry Brad’

Very waxy.

But then you may not.

*claps like a special*