the

You are browsing the search results for "the"

'Ooh, is it gone four o'clock of an afternoon (that's a clue!) and we've still not had a sing-song?'

‘Ooh, is it gone four o’clock of an afternoon (that’s a clue!) and we’ve still not had a sing-song?’

And today, just because we heard it on Her Majesty’s Radio Two a minute ago, we will be mostly sing-songing along (in fact, are sing-songing along as we speak, sorry, sing) to ‘Afternoon Delight’ by Americaland’s answer to Abba, the Starland Vocal Band. We’ll be the judge of that. Of note: Was it worth getting [...]

Oh look, Kelly O's boyfriend in bed with Auntie Viv Westwood!

Oh look, Kelly O’s boyfriend in bed with Auntie Viv Westwood!

Quite what this fella – Luke Worall, name-watchers! – sees in portly multi-millionairess Kelly Osbourne, we’re not quite sure. What we do know, however, is that he has become the face (or bottom) of Auntie Viv’s never-knowingly-worn-by-a-straight-man range of accessories. Here you see him filling out a pair of Bambi-bottomed panties while over the jump [...]

Oh, look mummy! That moose has got fur on it!

Oh, look mummy! That moose has got fur on it!

You’d think that as one of Hollywood’s most startling mooses (we actually laughed out loud at the idea of Christian Bale fighting for her in Batman. OUT LOUD we say!), Maggie ‘sister of much cuter Jake’ Gyllenhaal would avoid anything that would make even more people dislike her. But no. Here she is at a [...]

Hi-cut swimsuit at your age, dear? Who do you think you are? Madonna?

Hi-cut swimsuit at your age, dear? Who do you think you are? Madonna?

Whitney Houston seems to be back more often than crabs in a squat these days. But it looks like now she really is, erm, back. With an album (including imaginary piano playing, no doubt) and everything. As you can no doubt see it’s called Undefeated (which is a bit Britney for our liking) and it [...]

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are thy branches-made-out-of-neon-lights...?

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are thy branches-made-out-of-neon-lights…?

There’s a bit of a tradish for getting famouses to design show-stoppin’ Christmas trees for places of grand repute. Like the V&A, for example, who each year get a lady and/or gennelman from the design world to run up a yuletide fir that’ll get the punters gasping branch-wards throughout Santa season – with past turns including Alexander McQueen, Matthew [...]

If Kerry Katona doesn’t stop smoking her nipples will fall off. End.

If Kerry Katona doesn’t stop smoking her nipples will fall off. End.

When we first read this story we thought we must be mistaken in a sort of ‘Kelly Osbourne has four STDs a year’ way, but turns out s’true. According to doctors, if Kunty Katona doesn’t stop chuffing away on her pipe, bong, or whatever is she puffs on to achieve the charred smoky bacon smell [...]

It's the Year of the Gay. And no, that's not a Chinese horoscope thing.

It’s the Year of the Gay. And no, that’s not a Chinese horoscope thing.

And that’s why you might be seeing a whole lot more of this sort of thing… It’s true people. All the trend predictors (in this office, anyway) reckon that next year is going to be the year that the whole aggressive gay rights thing comes to a head. And like all trends it means that [...]

Dorian off-of Birds of a Feather?

Dorian off-of Birds of a Feather?

No, Amy Winehouse off-of I Need The Attention. S’true – she’s had the skanky barnet chopped off. Also nice to see she’s wearing a see-through, fishnet crop top with flesh coloured bra. Vomit, much? We just thought it was imperative we brought your attention to this. Go here for more. Thankings, or not as the [...]