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Morrissey: what a fine figure of a fortysumming!

Morrissey: what a fine figure of a fortysumming!

Look at dirty Morrissey in the altogether with a group of similarly nudie gennels (btw it’s always a very wise move to put someone much chunkier in the general vicinity to compare and contrast). It is, ladies and germs, the cover of the gent’s brand new single. Singles! Is anyone still buying them? Morrissey! Is anyone [...]

Extreme Makeover, Shave-Off-Beard Edition...

Extreme Makeover, Shave-Off-Beard Edition…

Excuse us thank-you-please, for not bringing your attention to this fella-me-laddio before. It’s because until a minute, maybe two, ago, we had no idea who he was. Not entirely sure how he actually came to our attention one, maybe two minutes ago but come he did. He is an Aussie rugby type. David Williams. Not Walliams. Maybe he’s the [...]

The mighty Ashford and Simpson (funny hair!) lend some cultural welly to that nice President Obama

The mighty Ashford and Simpson (funny hair!) lend some cultural welly to that nice President Obama

God bless Ashford and Simpson, of ‘Solid’-fame, of ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’-fame, of ‘doesn’t he seem like a gay and yet they’re married’-fame. They have re-crafted their only proper UK hit ‘Solid’ – and that is a crying shame, by the bypass as ‘Solid’ is one of their worst songs. But like ‘Frankie’ was [...]

Crunch, slurp *sucking of teeth* The sound of our words being eaten

Crunch, slurp *sucking of teeth* The sound of our words being eaten

Oh we laughed. We called her a female impersonator. We reckoned Lady Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber was wasting his time. But having watched the grande finale of Your Country Needs You on Saturday wherein the UK’s entrant to the *shouts* Eurovision Song Contest in Russia was selected, we think we might be in with a [...]

Do you think this man has a big cock?

Do you think this man has a big cock?

Not specky four-eyes, that’s photographer Terry Richardson, and we know all about his penis. But do you think Barack Obama, leader of the free world, has a big one? Because actor Alan Cumming does. ‘I’d like to see Obama naked,’ said Mr. Cumming, who is Scottish, at a party last night. For why? ’I think great leaders, [...]

Same-sex attraction. It's so funny!

Same-sex attraction. It’s so funny!

When will advertisers learn? They think they’ll put a little same-sex attraction into an ad (or a man dressing as a woman or anything like that) and it’ll make them edgy, everyone will find it HIGH-larious, they’ll get pro-gay Brownie points and all will be right with the world. Big cheques, awards, new contracts… *sound [...]

'Ooh, Lord, is it gone four o'clock already and Madonna's probably half-way across the Atlantic with her kids and we've still not had a sing-song?'

‘Ooh, Lord, is it gone four o’clock already and Madonna’s probably half-way across the Atlantic with her kids and we’ve still not had a sing-song?’

As Madonna wins the right to whisk her kids off back to the US, we will be mostly sing-songing along to Our Glorious Leader’s mantra (‘Honey, I’m wearing the red string – I deserve this shit!’) ‘Give It To Me’. At least them kids didn’t get adopted by a pair of gays, that’s what we [...]

Fag Hag Diary

Fag Hag Diary

  Friday The Fag Hag is dragging her taffeta floor length ‘Dr Ruth at a bar-mitzvah’ number out of the closet again and taking it to the Turkish dry cleaners wondering if they can remove that suspect white stain shaped like a map of Tasmania. She’s polishing the jewel-encrusted mules from acclaimed fashion house, ‘georges [...]