Some People Are Gay. Get Over It!

So, while the world celebrates the dawn of a new era, the gays of America are having what few rights they have taken away from them.

Unlike most of the civilised world, they are not allowed to marry, which means no inheritance rights, no adoption (a lot of agencies have a ‘married couples only’ proviso), no sitting by your dying partner’s bed even though you’ve been together for 25 years. Oh, but Britney can get pissed in Vegas and marry someone she once went to school with! There’s equality in action for you. Hail the brave new world of Obama.

Anyways, while everyone was celebrating the first black Prez, the gays of West Hollywood (how’s Micky’s rebuild coming along, boys?) took to the streets to protest having their basic human rights removed by the same voters who voted Obama in.
Here is a selection of the very excellent signage on display that night.

In the UK, it was firework night, by the way, where we celebrated a 400-year-old tradition of burning Catholics. Not sounding like such a bad idea looking at how the religious right orchestrated this…

So, the next James Bond should be black? Let’s have a little chat about fictional characters with Daniel Craig.

TITS!

We’ve been up all night arguing the toss with our boyfriend Daniel Craig (here’s one we made out with earlier – and no, we don’t think we’ve seen enough of this picture yet). Apparently, he said at the opening of Quantum of Solace – in a kind of celebration of the B.O. victory in Americaland – that he thought the next James Bond should be black. Now, Danny…

While that would be OK for Doctor Who, because Timelords can do what the freak they like, James Bond, the character written by Ian Fleming (no relation to Jason) was not black. Nor was Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. Nor was Queen Victoria. Nor was Paddington Bear. And neither, incidentally, should Othello be white.

Now while we would like Angela Bassett to get a whole lot more work than she does, and while we can’t get enough of our Denzels and our Wesleys (though Wesley wasn’t very nice when we met him), we do think it’s getting silly if character traits as created by writers are going to be ignored. Why not a female James Bond, by your argument? Or a gay one? Or an old one? Or a cat one?

Or, how about someone writes a character who is a black secret service agent…? That might be a start.

Will there be a SATC sequel? Yes there will. So there.

Who mentioned sex?

Hello.

Kim Cattrall has confirmed what we knew already - there will be a sequel to the Sex and the City film.

Hooray.

Let’s look at something else we knew already but was confirmed at a later date.

- Kerry Katona’s a cunt.

Hooray.

Oof, someone needs to go on the get-out-of-jail drop a dress size diet!

Who ate all the hair pies?

While his missus was too busy beating up photographers to meet him as he came out of jail (Amy, you have crossed a line love. You can now officially fuck off), Blake Fielder-Civil (civil by name only, btw. Let’s not forget those grevious bodily harm convictions. That means hurting people. Which we don’t hold with. Though Amy obviously does) was cutting quite a dash.

And quite a lot of dash, as he seems to have piled on the pounds flicking himself off in his prison cell before tucking into Wagon Wheels, or whatever it is they’re feeding prisoners these days. Is there something wrong with gruel, all of a sudden? 

Anyways, for those following the vissicitudes of Blake ‘n’ Amy, he’s now going into a rehab-type facility somewhere in south London (punishment indeed!) until he can be trusted around the Junior Disprin.

Story ends. Everyone yawns. 

The day they vote in their first black president is also the day they deny gay people the same rights as straights. Great democracy, much?

Sorry, kids. Apparently you don't deserve nice things like straight people...

California has voted in Proposition 8.

:-( 

So while the whole of America is self-congratulating, heralding the dawn of a Brave New World, and announcing themselves as the ‘greatest democracy on earth’, the exact same country has decided that gay people do not deserve the same rights as straight people.

And before anyone gets all pedantic on our back bottoms, we know it’s California and not the whole of the US and A, but if anything that’s even more of a bummer (best excuse that pun before California gets all tetchy)  - bearing in mind this is liberal, left-wing California and not Texas we’re talking about.

And before anyone gets all pedantic on our back bottoms x2, we know being given the vote on this issue is all terribly democratic but sometimes, just sometimes, the stupid people really shouldn’t be given the vote. It’s why clever people (usually) are in charge.

Head? Hang it in shame, etc.

ps. Florida and Arizona have also banned gay marriage. Who knew, boo, etc. Oh that rhymes.

Karen Krizanovich: An American Bitch in London

Bullet-proof fashion houses take note

Dateline: London, post election. Let’s get it over with – and yes, I voted for him, so shut up.

But you have to say what people are thinking and dare not say: Obama had better have really good security or another old white guy will end up in office. But, and I’m sure you’ve had it too, I received this in my inbox just a few weeks ago: A black man goes to heaven and meets St Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Who are you, my son?’ asked the saint. ‘I am the President of the United States,’ says Obama. ‘Why, when did they elect a black man for president?’ ‘Oh, about five minutes ago.’

Americans – and the world – now have what could be a black John F Kennedy in the White House. Let’s hope his wife starts dressing better because DAMN what was that red and black thing she had on next to Mrs Biden, who looked as if she could glow in the dark? But you can’t fault him for the quip about the puppy because, awww, we all wuv puppies. And gays, as Obama rightly listed in his intro. Gays came last but at least they came.

Fag Hag Diary

Yay, McCain!

Wednesday

The Fag Hag was buzzing like my old amphetamine-addicted Nana this morning to wake up and discover that the fabulous Barry O’ Barma won the first prize in the Washington competition thingy. And so it seems were all the other peeps in London town (bar a few men who look like Brian Glover and live in Canvey Island ).

But as it can be rather yawnsville when everyone’s politically so emphatically all on the same page (unless it’s a page from Jilly Cooper’s Riders involving Gypsy Jake), the Faggy decided to throw the cat amongst the dirty ‘ole pigeons today.

‘What about Obama?’ grinned my neighbour as we ran into each other on the landing like ships that pass in the nightmare. I grimaced ruefully, ‘I know. I’m devastated. But what can you do?’ he looked at me like I’d just murdered his first born and I went on my merry way… [Read more...]

‘Ooh, is it coming up to 4 o’clock already and we’ve still not had a celebratory sing-song on the grave of George W. C. U. N. T. Bush?’

go ladies!

Oh, it would have been easy to put something like ‘Celebrate’ by that nice Mr. Kool and his Gang, but we are being more measured as we usher in a new era, which may be good for African Americans but which is bad for the gays, what with the success of Proposition 8 in California and similar votes in places like Florida.

The bottom line is, it’s now one nation under a groove for all races but them dirty gays still can’t tie the knot like decent human beings (and like they can in almost every other civilised country in the world). What’s the line about ‘the world’s greatest democracy’ again?

There endeth the lesson and today we will be mostly sing-songing along to the cheeeeenius ‘There’s Got To Be Something Better Than This’ from the musical Sweet Charity, which takes up the optimistic tone of the day without forgetting there’s still a bunch of nonsense to tackle. Ooh, clever… [Read more...]