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Well it's darnedly better that those darned Bendies, darn it.

Well it’s darnedly better that those darned Bendies, darn it.

This bus, ladies and gentlemen and dollies, could soon be coming to a London street near you. Yes *dramatic pause* you. Though if you don’t live in London’s glittering London, it could be trickssssssy (‘tricky’, in gay). You could always come visit, though. The pound’s now worth, like, a threepenny bit so you’ll get a lot for [...]

Thank the baby Jesus, Madonna seems to have regained her taste for hot men!

Thank the baby Jesus, Madonna seems to have regained her taste for hot men!

Oh, yes, drink him in. The gentleman pictured is a hot Brazilian model by the name of Jesus and he’s the lad to have enticed Madonna back to the glories of the Latino, for he is off-of Brazil. After a string of losers – Guy, A-Rod, even Sean Penn come to think of it – [...]

‘Jesus Is The Reason For The Season apparently and somehow it’s 4 o’ clock already and we haven’t had a God-bothering festive sing-song yet’

‘Jesus Is The Reason For The Season apparently and somehow it’s 4 o’ clock already and we haven’t had a God-bothering festive sing-song yet’

In celebration of our getting up to naughties under mistletoe and our being probably already drunk on wine, today we’ve mostly been listening to / having naughties under mistletoe to / getting probably drunk on wine to Mistletoe and Wine by the never knowingly straight Cliff Richard. Past the jump with you…

Because even non-Christians deserve a nice boozy Christmas lunch...

Because even non-Christians deserve a nice boozy Christmas lunch…

And because we will be incommunicado for a couple of hours, huddled round a warming glass of something fizzy and inexpensive, we thought we’d leave you with an image that was both funny and sexy. ‘Cause that’s how we like to think of ourselves *dabs tear falling like glycerine down an immacculately made-up face. Oh, [...]

Red just isn't your colour Robert. Please remove offending garment...

Red just isn’t your colour Robert. Please remove offending garment…

In the continuation of today’s chest fest *notices that rhymes… has a little dance* we thought we would bring you this pictorial evidence of why Robert Pattinson is rightly the man of the homo’.

Oh c'mon, it's a different angle...

Oh c’mon, it’s a different angle…

*takes clutched straw, places it on camel’s back…* ps. More Hugh-ness. We knew there was a point to this.

Canteen - our favourite Brit-grub restaurant that we thought wasn't a chain but now looks spookily like a chain - has opened up a new 'un.

Canteen – our favourite Brit-grub restaurant that we thought wasn’t a chain but now looks spookily like a chain – has opened up a new ‘un.

When the first one opened in Spitalfields ooh, a wee while back, we cheered and cheered and stuffed ourselves with fish ‘n’ chips ‘n’ mushy peas and/or pies of the day until our bellies prolapsed… which then gave us room for tea and biscuits and/or treacle tart with custard. Silver linings. And then when the [...]

Apparently, this man has a really big schlong.

Apparently, this man has a really big schlong.

Thought you’d like that… So, this man, a man we’ve never heard of but is called Thomas Jane (Jane! Laughings) has deep withinside his dirty little kecks a massive wanger of a wang. *checks press release* Oh, that’s not strictly true. Well it may be true – who are we to say? Or care? – what’s [...]