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Two fat ladies

Two fat ladies

We still can’t quite get our beautifully coiffed heads around what the esteemed Institute of Contemporary Arts were thinking of when they allowed Jonny Woo, Ma Baker and their merry bunch of reprobates take over the whole bar area with their Gay Bingo. But we’re glad they did! This Saturday (8pm start, doors at 7.30, [...]

Kate Moss in quite-nice-Versace-frock shock!

Kate Moss in quite-nice-Versace-frock shock!

Hello. Versace is as Versace does, as they say, and Versace does wizened old pleather in hooker lingerie like no other. Which is why it came as rather a *CPR. Clear!* shock to see our Kate inside of Versace clobber that didn’t immediately bring to mind either prostitution or gynaecology. It’s something to behold, people *reflective pause* and we’d [...]

Bang on at The Standard NYC!

Bang on at The Standard NYC!

We love a sexual pun. It’s big and it’s very clever, and when it involves The Standard, just about our favouritest hotel, well, we hate to say chain so let’s say Hermès chunky choker, in the world, it’s big and it’s clever and it’s very very long.   And bless those lovely Standard people. Not only have they gone and opened [...]

Horizontal stripes make you look fat...

Horizontal stripes make you look fat…

One of life’s little pleasures is getting a tradish bottle of Coca Cola – or something from the Coca Cola diffusion line – fresh from the frigidaire and taking that first virginal gulp or two, quickly followed by that funny vacuum effect that almost sucks your puckers off… it’s not a spit-roast, admittedly, but it is rather [...]

Fag Hag Diary

Fag Hag Diary

There are two things the Fag Hag has always vowed she would never do. The first is date a man who is in possession of a fleece top. The second is set foot over the threshold of Budgens. Now this last one ain’t a snooty bitches thing – many’s the time the Faggy’s been spotted [...]

'What the Captain Haddock! Is it gone four o'clock already and we've still not had a chantez-chanson?'

‘What the Captain Haddock! Is it gone four o’clock already and we’ve still not had a chantez-chanson?’

Today to celebrate the outing of Tintin (god, it’s like when Neil Tennant came out: who didn’t know?), we will be mostly sing-songing along to Tin Tin Out (get it? Oh, we’re on fire today!) and their prolly only famousish song ‘Here’s Where the Story Ends’ featuring Shelly Nelson who looks like someone’s mum in [...]

Oh Tintin, you big gay...!

Oh Tintin, you big gay…!

Tintin, who’s a dolly if ever we happened across one, has been outed. From withinside the closet. Inside of which is totally this winter’s look (Mac? Check. Shirt under roundneck jumper? Check. Cropped trousers with brogues and a statement sock? Checkity check. Blusher on cheeks? Optional). So telling us something we already knew, Matthew Parris – [...]

Five Euros? Don't worry. Coco's paying!

Five Euros? Don’t worry. Coco’s paying!

Looking more like Miss Marple than fashion goddess, Coco Chanel (not to be confused with Coco Nut or Coco Cola Light) appears on this limited edition 5 Euro bit where the Queen would ordinarily sit on a proper coin of the realm. It’s five Euros in name only mind (and only then because of Chanel [...]