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Elton John? Marriage? With our reputation? No thanks.

Elton John? Marriage? With our reputation? No thanks.

Elton John off-of was once married to a lady many moons ago, has said that he doesn’t think the gayses should bother to get themselves all worked up into a flustered frenzy by fighting against Proposition 8. In case you forgot, that is California’s ban on cock-to-cock, vag-to-vag marriage. The gap-toothed cock-sucker (literally speaking) said: [...]

Do you know someone who needs a burning cross on their lawn this season of goodwill?

Do you know someone who needs a burning cross on their lawn this season of goodwill?

Imagine you have a black neighbour you think needs a little festive cheer? Why not sneak onto his front lawn this Christmas and suprise him with this burning cross Christmas decoration brought to you by the American Family Association, a bunch of fascist fundamentalists (with the emphasis firmly on the ‘mentalists’) who are branching out [...]

We kinda love you LoLo. Just stop wearing the fur. Salope!

We kinda love you LoLo. Just stop wearing the fur. Salope!

See that puff of what looks like smoke? There, sort of central and a bit to the left. Hard to see here but it is Lindsay Lohan off-of lesbianism (and didn’t she once make a film? *racks brain* No, we’re thinking of Paris Hilton) getting a bunch of flour chucked at her. Well, it’s ‘farine’, [...]

We want to be all of these things...

We want to be all of these things…

Antony Price, fancy tailor off-of the Roxy Music/Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music look has done a range for Topman. You may have heard. Now this is a dilemma for us. Mostly because the range is pretty darn-my-socks genius. And mostly because we don’t want every dolly in town buying it up and wearing it down the Hackney Road come the [...]

Our new pied a terre when in gay Pareeeee!

Our new pied a terre when in gay Pareeeee!

There’s not a lot we won’t do for Philippe Starcke, not since we turned up at his Paris apartment to interview him and he opened the door wearing nothing but a sarong with some fairly sizeable design equipment clearly visible underneath (an accident, surely!) Which is why when we go to Paris, we’ll be trying [...]

Mad as a box of hair. And make-up. And frilly bonnetry.

Mad as a box of hair. And make-up. And frilly bonnetry.

Just who is this sepia-tinged lovely with Hermes scarf, uncontrollable hair and more than a hint of syphilis? *hands out John Frieda Frizz-Ease* Jonathan Depp, that’s who, in perennial Tim Burton get-up. This time round, we’re talking Alice in Wonderland in which Johnny bagged the Mad Hatter part. He faught tooth and French manicured nail for that [...]

Is it us, or is Justin Timberlake all over everyone's business at the moment?

Is it us, or is Justin Timberlake all over everyone’s business at the moment?

Madonna’s business. Beyonce’s business. Now Rihanna’s business. Here he is emerging from a handily-located desert shower having ridden into Rihanna’s new video on a motorbike. So masculine! The song’s called ‘Rehab’ (unfortunately not that ‘Rehab’. No, no, no), it comes from the house of Timbaland/Timberlake and is exactly what you would imagine. Experience it for [...]

Look at our handsome boy in the jungle! By which we mean man. By which we mean Brian Paddick's got his arse out. Hoorah!

Look at our handsome boy in the jungle! By which we mean man. By which we mean Brian Paddick’s got his arse out. Hoorah!

It’s been, what, two days and already Brian’s worked out what his USP is. Nudity. Thus, therefore and as a result, he showered in the all-together for us to frig over last night, the result of which is after the break. The result of the nude shower, not the frig. That would be, you know, [...]